Exotic is not a compliment

My friends and I all have different taste. Not one of my friends would describe their dream guy the same as the other; we all see this is a good thing, however, due to this we come across guys of different races, cultures, experiences, walks of life. We all meet people in different ways but in a recent discussion, I’ve realised some guys make comments that just aren’t okay and it’s not just me that thinks this. Turns out we’ve all had ‘compliments’ that are really ignorant.

Being called exotic isn’t a compliment. I’m no pineapple or guava.

Due to this discussion I’ve put together a list of all the disastrous comments we’ve gathered over the years:

  • “you’re pretty for a black girl”. Seriously, what is that meant to mean? And what made you think I’d take that as a compliment?
  • “You’re nice but I only date Indian girls. Mum wouldn’t like you”
  • “So was you born here? What about your parents?”. If it was a general conversation this is okay but it is usually questioned in finding out whether we have an accent or/and a passport which is a no-no
  • “Do you have a Jamaican accent?”
  • *Love-struck emoji* “I love reggae”. Okay, because as a black people I must love reggae too? (I do, but that’s not the point)
  • “Do you smoke weed?” Because apparently, that’s all we do?
  • “Always like black girls but never had one”. Who said you’ve got me? Want to catch something? Play Pokemon
  • “You’re so tropical” *love-struck emoji* I’m from outside the UK calm down
  • “I can handle you”
  • “Black girls are always angry, chill”. The black woman probably said nothing to deserve this comment but the stereotype of anger seems to pop up every now and then
  • “I bet you know how to cook. Do you make jerk chicken?”
  • “So do you know your dad?” what ignorance is this?
  • “Why are you not wearing a bindi?” again ignorance in thinking all Asian women wear bindis

And that’s just to mention a few. I feel like I just wrote a ‘how to date a black or Asian woman’ post but people need to know this because the world is full of ignorance. Guys if you’re interested in dating a black or Asian woman, stop saying the above, you won’t get far and we are not a fetish.

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