Stay organised-Stay at peace

Whether you tidy your bedroom or keep a diary, staying organised will help you stay at peace and arrange your thoughts.
When you enter a clean, tidy, Ikea looking room there’s an automatic sense of relaxation. That’s a feeling we should all aim to maintain. Having a messy room may be due to personal trait but it can also show that you have had enough or no longer take care of yourself.
Once in a few months, I grab a black bag and have a clear out. Sometimes I even change the layout of my bedroom, leaving a sense of tranquil. If you are depressed or like to spend a lot of time in your bedroom (like myself), having a clear out is the first stage to feeling refreshed and motivated. By having a spring clean we’re protecting our health by cleaning, leading to fresh air and a better night’s sleep; it gets us active and boosts motivation and best of all, we find things that were once lose and gain a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Once your room is clean and tidy, you can work on finding your peace further. You may have more space to put out a yoga mat, purchase candles and flowers, add a whiteboard with sticky notes, organise items in boxes, whatever you like.
Having a diary or calendar is mentally great for staying organised. If you have low moods or anxiety the best thing you can do to declutter your brain is to write down your daily tasks or a list of what you need to complete throughout the month. The more you do this, the more it will reduce your stress. CBT believe its best to keep busy every day but personally, that’s not necessary. Sometimes we have so many going on that we just need a day or evening alone to just do nothing.
For the past few years, I’ve had a diary and it does all the remembering for me, resulting in me having time and space to think and not stress about what I should or should not be doing on certain days. Think about how you can declutter your life.

What does Mental Health mean to you?

The images below are from a recent Mental Health First Aid session at work. I believe Mental Health at work is just as important as general First Aid.

Within the session the delegates were asked to express what Mental Health means to them, how they would describe it and how it would make someone feel.

Let’s have an open discussion- what does mental health mean to you?

May feel like a black hole or anchor

How to have fun on a budget

Doesn’t matter how much money I have or make, I’m in my mid 20’s and from South London, whatever I do by default is on a budget. With summer upon us, if you’re from the UK or travelling here, I’m going to share how I do the most using less.

First you need friends who also move on a budget. There’s no point expecting to save money over the summer if your friends would rather spend every weekend at the Ritz or partying in Mayfair. This summer the most expensive things we’ll be doing is £50 on The Ends Festival and a £45 on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory afternoon tea; due to my love of this childhood story. Alone, I may look at doing a weekend trip abroad but travelling is not always expensive. When travelling I do it on a budget and always keep a lookout for deals and make use of all methods of transport. I plan to have a less costly Summer by hiking, walking a lot and parks for picnics and Museums (with free entry).


I enjoy eating out but I can limit myself and save by going on picnics or carrying a packed lunch from home. I can avoid cocktail (sometimes) and expensive wine bars in exchange for buying a bottle of wine or putting money together with friends for spirits and mixers. If we go out to eat, we don’t have to go overboard. I admit, this summer I’ll be going for Brunch a few times because I love it but I don’t need to break the bank and go to the most expensive place or order everything off the menu. I like to travel so, to avoid the costs of trains, coach is a good way to go, it all depends on where you go and what day of the month. Make the most of travel cards, discount codes and any student deals; make them your best friend. There’s no embarrassment in saving money. I still use my student card and no matter where I go I always ask ‘Do you take NUS?”. In addition due to my current role I now have a Blue Light Card that provides additional discounts. Check newspapers and the internet for deals around the UK for restaurants, travel or anything you wish; Groupon and Last Minute is a good place to start.
If you wish to go through summer alone or maybe with your partner, again nothing needs to be expensive.

Doing activities alone is probably the best way to explore and save money at the same time. In addition, make use to 2 for 1 discounts or travel cards of you are planning activities with your partner. The possibilities of having an amazingly cheap and cheerful summer are endless.

Do you know your family?

A year ago I went on an ancestry website to learn more about myself. I am lucky enough to have grown up my grandparents (on both sides) and hear all their stories but, I’ve always been interested in going as far back in time out of pure curiosity and to share our history with future generations.

I have always been aware of where I come from and my Bajan Gran has done her job to tell me everything about her childhood, how she came to England and what her parents were like. Also being Bajan she seems to know everything about everyone. My mum too has been great in sharing her memories and knowledge with me. Understanding our culture and history has always been important to my family and something I had to know about from a very young age.


I did my ancestry test back in October 2018 and to this day, the results still have me in awe. Doing the test is considered expensive to some but if you think about how they get the results, it’s really worth the cost. In March 2019 the technology updated meaning my results are considered more accurate as shown below. It’s extraordinary to see that I’m not just from Barbados and Jamaica (with an Indian twist) as I’ve grown up to know. Black people all know or should know history enough to know we originate from Africa, but I never imagined the results saying Benin, Congo and Cameroon. The 1% European Jewish and Germanic Europe still throws me as I wasn’t expecting that but it’s still an amazing find. My mum always swore we had Spanish blood…when I dance others also say this so it was incredible to see there’s actually a link.

My friend has also recently done a test and would now like to be known as ‘African Queen’ due to her very surprising results. Whether it’s you or your friend finding out about past generations it is beyond exciting and interesting and I believe we should all find out where we are from; whether it’s doing a DNA test or speaking to your grandparents about history. I can now go forward knowing if I ever have children or if my nephew asks I can give as much information as possible and say more than just “I’m Jamaican and Bajan”.

Updated results
Part of the map

Vegan diary…a 5 day journey

I decided to try the vegan way of life (in terms of foods) to test how beneficial this lifestyle change could be. Every vegan I know raves about being a vegan but I’m the type of person that has to try things for myself. As said in previous posts I could never go completely meatless however, I don’t need meat in my diet daily.


Prep day
I made a weeks’ worth of chickpea curry with the best kitchen assistant…Pinterest. The prep lasted no longer than 15 mins and the same goes for the cooking time. I tend to not cook so much as I don’t enjoy the cleaning process but I actually enjoyed cooking this time and the clean up was very minimal. I made my mum a batch with basmati rice (somewhat of a tester batch)and she loved it so hopefully, this will keep me going during lunchtime at work for the week.

Day 1
On the way out the door for work, I picked up a doughnut and debated whether the V on the label stood for vegan and not just vegetarian. After scanning carefully, I was excited to know that breakfast was sorted. I’m not much of a snack person so I avoided crisps and chocolate but during a mini break at work, I had an orange to keep me going until lunch. Lunch 12.30 pm: was the ultimate chickpea curry but instead of rice, I went for pita bread (yes I checked it was vegan during purchase). 5 pm: Turns out I wasn’t as full as I thought; felt so starved and had a load of chips for early dinner.
Day 2
I can feel my energy levels fading. Another day of chickpea curry; I’m not bored of it yet but I know I’m not taking in enough protein and nutrients as I usually would. Due to this my mood today has been pretty hit & miss. I’m happy, tired and stressed all at once. It’s only Day 2, I’m hoping tomorrow will be a lot better.
Day 3
I’m feeling more positive, however, today is the last day of chickpea curry…probably a good thing. I’m not tempted by meat which is great however, I don’t like the limitations that come with this dietary option. This definitely isn’t a life change for me.
Day 4
I don’t feel hungry as such but my stomach is shouting at me and telling me it doesn’t agree with this diet change. Usually, I avoid snacks but now my body is craving crisps and chocolate. I bought peanut M&M’s today knowing I can’t eat them but I just needed to know they were in my bag. I’m not feeling as weak as I did yesterday but I’m getting tired faster than usual, which is not ideal especially in my line of work. Only 1 day left!
Day 5
The end is here! I feel vibrant this morning. Again still tired af but could be worse. I’m proud I have made it through the 5 days; at times I didn’t think I would make it. 5 days doesn’t seem like a long time but when you’re a foodie like me, it feels like a lifetime. I lost weight which I wasn’t expecting and managed to fight the will to snack which made me realise I’m stronger than I thought but vegan just isn’t for me. I’d happily go vegetarian if need be but that’s the most my body will accept. I applaud vegans for having the strength to check ingredients in products and devote time to this lifestyle.

As you can see that chickpea curry only made it to Day 3 but it made me get inventive for the last 2 days. Usually when I get home from work I’m too tired to eat a full meal however, on this diet all I wanted to do when I got home was eat. This isn’t a lifestyle change for me as I just about made it to Day 5 but I think we can all do with a breather from meat/fish based meals at times.

Why you should leave me alone

Recently I’ve been triggered and the old cold-hearted me is waiting to make an epic return. Over the past few years, I’ve been calm, composed and said yes or ok at times when really it isn’t ok. It’s now getting to the point I think I have ‘mug’ written across my forehead.

People have really forgotten I am a Queen.

The past few months have consisted of people calling, messaging, liking posts to get my attention and I’m really not here for it. If I don’t reply to you within a day, take your L’s and leave me alone, and in best case scenario…delete my number.

I’m done. I need new eggs.

People always want to come back into your life whether it’s been 6 months or 6 years. From my experience people tend to come back when they’re bored, looking for attention or curious and that’s what I don’t have time for. ‘I miss you’, ‘Hey, how have you been?’, ‘long time, no speak’. Is this truly necessary? If someone doesn’t want you in their life, take the hint and either give them space and they’ll come back to you or just cut ties completely.


I’m a good friend, partner, person, which is why I tend to give people too many chances. From now onwards everyone gets 1 chance. I’m too grown for the stress, aggro and time wasters. This is why I’ve been doing a lot on my own recently; I genuinely enjoy my own company and it’s refreshing at times. Truth be told, I’d rather be alone than surrounded by nonsense. Luckily, I have a close group of friends and family and that’s enough for me.
People seem to take my kindness for advantage and in the world, we live in today that kindness gets taken for granted. Recently with better mental health, I’ve been able to see clearer and see people in a different light. Due to this, I’m having a life clear up.


If you’ve got bad eggs in your life I advise you let them go. Friends, partners, anyone. If they are no good and use your good spirit for evil, show them the exit. If you are the type of person that likes to unnecessarily creep back into people’s lives, the best thing you could do is remove the temptation and delete/block all communication.

Single Summers

I don’t remember when exactly I invented ‘Single Summers’ but I love it. I really do get excited over it.

It came about during a time when I realised all my friends and I were single at the same time. One friend was really down and out about being single and me using my charm and banter as always to be supportive thought, you know what, let’s go out and do what we want to do this summer. Whether its trying different beer gardens, going for brunch every weekend or travelling to somewhere new. I love spending time with my friends especially when the sun is out and this made summer worth looking forward to. Single summers isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s not about being a hoe, chasing guys or trying to get attention; its the complete opposite. It’s about making the most out of being single before we are older and have families or other responsibilities. It’s about taking care of number 1 and not being the singles who sit around feeling sorry for themselves.

I’d be happy if one of my friends said they were seeing someone or had a girlfriend/boyfriend but for now this is something for all to look forward to and use to make memories together.

We must make the most of the time we have on this earth before it’s too late. Furthermore, we must make the most out of English summertime before it’s too late!

I’ll be sure to share what I get up to this summer on Instagram (Solobutterflyy). If any of you feel sad or pressured about being single, don’t let this hold you back. Go out there and live life!