At work, it is so easy to stay in your own bubble or to stay close in a tight ‘work squad’ and forget about other people. Do you ever take time to think about the people around you?
That person you think is being a ‘bitch’ or that person who’s always negative or quiet might be going through something whether in their personal or professional life. It doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t cost you anything to ask that person if they’re ok or if they might want to join you for lunch sometime. People always think what if and think they could have done more when it is too late. If you see signs that someone isn’t doing well, don’t stand back and wonder, step in and ask. A common sign would be a change in behaviour or someone becoming standoffish. Another common sign could be someone who is usually loud or constantly talking as that could be a coping mechanism; a way of taking their mind of what is happening in their life. People who suffer from mental health or have difficulties may keep things hidden especially at work. If you are someone who is not comfortable approaching someone that you don’t know, you can send them information via email of any mental health awareness news, posts or events that are coming up at work.
Once I graduated from Uni I went straight into office work. Like a typical graduate, I went straight into recruitment but I wasn’t on the phones thankfully, I was interviewing potential candidates. I had studied in a Hotel School so did back office work but being in an actual office environment was new to me and at the time I wasn’t that bothered about working at a desk all day. Being from a Hotel background I was used to being constantly on my feet, then going out with friends until 4 am.
It was my first job, straight out of Uni, working in busy Soho; I would go to work, socialise with friends on weekdays, work was never a barrier for me. At Uni I was so determined to get into Learning & Development so I always assumed office life would be it for me and no professionals at Uni told me otherwise.
Over the years I continued with office work. I began to realise office work wasn’t for me; I’ve gone from running around Hotels and working in Hospitality to now sitting behind a computer. In the office roles I’ve had, I never felt challenged and I always got through probation and all the tasks quicker than expected and I’m someone who needs to be kept on their toes. In all roles I’ve made good people, some I now consider as friends but being in my mid 20’s, working in an office is something I just can’t comprehend doing for the rest of my life.
I may have left Uni in 2015 but I’ve continued studying ever since to stand out in the world of Learning & Development but as I realised I had enough of office work, I started looking at other ways of accomplishing this goal. I wanted to be a trainer; hence why I went to a training school however I, unfortunately, fell into the corporate world.
After 4 years in an office environment, feeling unappreciated, depressed and overall in a dead-end environment I knew it was time for me to step away from the desk. I took time off (a month) to find what I wanted to do. Now…I’m a trainer and I don’t work in an office. Every day for me now is different and it’s honestly the first job I can honestly say I enjoy. I’ve found peace; I’m happier and I don’t miss sitting in an office, in fact, I can’t imagine going back to an office environment just yet. I like to keep motivated and keep my mind active but in the office, I felt like I was losing brain cells. I’ll soon return to office work for financial and career development but I would advise everyone to take time away from the office and try a new method.
Every role has its problems and everyone has days when we’d rather stay in bed but we spend nearly our whole lives working, so find your passion and a job that’s worth getting up and going to.
The world is filled with many opinions, but the only opinion that matters in life is your own.
Daily on social media, I constantly see people shaming each other and talking about people they know nothing about. We all at times find ourselves voicing our opinions on something we see online but shaming someone or in some cases trolling is beyond unnecessary and too extreme. It’s scary to think that one rude comment can get 1000 likes whereas on the other end we have no idea how the person is taking that comment; their feelings are rarely taken into account. I’ve always had tough skin but I can’t say the same thing for other people. We all take criticism in different ways and not everyone can brush off comments. We all feel and think differently.
The main thing to remember is that no one knows the real you and no one knows you better than yourself. In terms of the negativity that people throw your way, it’s best to take everything with a pinch of salt. Nowadays it seems like everything we do is being watched and needs acknowledging. I personally post on Instagram and look at stories but I rarely scroll through other’s profiles because I don’t want to feel like I am not good enough or the need to change or as if my way of life isn’t good enough. That’s my method of keeping online negativity out of my life.
Whether its fashion, influencers or anything in the limelight, I don’t read too much into it. Social media sales lies and dreams. People want to be like the Instagram models and celebrities they see but we have no idea what is happening behind the scenes. To be successful or happy in life you don’t need to have the most desirable clothing or change who you are to seem cool to others. Just do you. I have my own style and my own way of life that works for me and it also shows my personality. I don’t need to know what people say or think about me because I’m not going to change me for anyone else. I actually like me. People who sit on a laptop or phone belittling and trolling likely to have their own insecurities. Shut down other peoples voices and start listening to your own.
Whether you tidy your bedroom or keep a diary, staying organised will help you stay at peace and arrange your thoughts.
When you enter a clean, tidy, Ikea looking room there’s an automatic sense of relaxation. That’s a feeling we should all aim to maintain. Having a messy room may be due to personal trait but it can also show that you have had enough or no longer take care of yourself.
Once in a few months, I grab a black bag and have a clear out. Sometimes I even change the layout of my bedroom, leaving a sense of tranquil. If you are depressed or like to spend a lot of time in your bedroom (like myself), having a clear out is the first stage to feeling refreshed and motivated. By having a spring clean we’re protecting our health by cleaning, leading to fresh air and a better night’s sleep; it gets us active and boosts motivation and best of all, we find things that were once lose and gain a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Once your room is clean and tidy, you can work on finding your peace further. You may have more space to put out a yoga mat, purchase candles and flowers, add a whiteboard with sticky notes, organise items in boxes, whatever you like.
Having a diary or calendar is mentally great for staying organised. If you have low moods or anxiety the best thing you can do to declutter your brain is to write down your daily tasks or a list of what you need to complete throughout the month. The more you do this, the more it will reduce your stress. CBT believe its best to keep busy every day but personally, that’s not necessary. Sometimes we have so many going on that we just need a day or evening alone to just do nothing.
For the past few years, I’ve had a diary and it does all the remembering for me, resulting in me having time and space to think and not stress about what I should or should not be doing on certain days. Think about how you can declutter your life.
The images below are from a recent Mental Health First Aid session at work. I believe Mental Health at work is just as important as general First Aid.
Within the session the delegates were asked to express what Mental Health means to them, how they would describe it and how it would make someone feel.
Let’s have an open discussion- what does mental health mean to you?
I decided to try the vegan way of life (in terms of foods) to test how beneficial this lifestyle change could be. Every vegan I know raves about being a vegan but I’m the type of person that has to try things for myself. As said in previous posts I could never go completely meatless however, I don’t need meat in my diet daily.
I made a weeks’ worth of chickpea curry with the best kitchen assistant…Pinterest. The prep lasted no longer than 15 mins and the same goes for the cooking time. I tend to not cook so much as I don’t enjoy the cleaning process but I actually enjoyed cooking this time and the clean up was very minimal. I made my mum a batch with basmati rice (somewhat of a tester batch)and she loved it so hopefully, this will keep me going during lunchtime at work for the week.
On the way out the door for work, I picked up a doughnut and debated whether the V on the label stood for vegan and not just vegetarian. After scanning carefully, I was excited to know that breakfast was sorted. I’m not much of a snack person so I avoided crisps and chocolate but during a mini break at work, I had an orange to keep me going until lunch. Lunch 12.30 pm: was the ultimate chickpea curry but instead of rice, I went for pita bread (yes I checked it was vegan during purchase). 5 pm: Turns out I wasn’t as full as I thought; felt so starved and had a load of chips for early dinner.
I can feel my energy levels fading. Another day of chickpea curry; I’m not bored of it yet but I know I’m not taking in enough protein and nutrients as I usually would. Due to this my mood today has been pretty hit & miss. I’m happy, tired and stressed all at once. It’s only Day 2, I’m hoping tomorrow will be a lot better.
I’m feeling more positive, however, today is the last day of chickpea curry…probably a good thing. I’m not tempted by meat which is great however, I don’t like the limitations that come with this dietary option. This definitely isn’t a life change for me.
I don’t feel hungry as such but my stomach is shouting at me and telling me it doesn’t agree with this diet change. Usually, I avoid snacks but now my body is craving crisps and chocolate. I bought peanut M&M’s today knowing I can’t eat them but I just needed to know they were in my bag. I’m not feeling as weak as I did yesterday but I’m getting tired faster than usual, which is not ideal especially in my line of work. Only 1 day left!
The end is here! I feel vibrant this morning. Again still tired af but could be worse. I’m proud I have made it through the 5 days; at times I didn’t think I would make it. 5 days doesn’t seem like a long time but when you’re a foodie like me, it feels like a lifetime. I lost weight which I wasn’t expecting and managed to fight the will to snack which made me realise I’m stronger than I thought but vegan just isn’t for me. I’d happily go vegetarian if need be but that’s the most my body will accept. I applaud vegans for having the strength to check ingredients in products and devote time to this lifestyle.
As you can see that chickpea curry only made it to Day 3 but it made me get inventive for the last 2 days. Usually when I get home from work I’m too tired to eat a full meal however, on this diet all I wanted to do when I got home was eat. This isn’t a lifestyle change for me as I just about made it to Day 5 but I think we can all do with a breather from meat/fish based meals at times.
Recently I’ve been triggered and the old cold-hearted me is waiting to make an epic return. Over the past few years, I’ve been calm, composed and said yes or ok at times when really it isn’t ok. It’s now getting to the point I think I have ‘mug’ written across my forehead.
People have really forgotten I am a Queen.
The past few months have consisted of people calling, messaging, liking posts to get my attention and I’m really not here for it. If I don’t reply to you within a day, take your L’s and leave me alone, and in best case scenario…delete my number.
I’m done. I need new eggs.
People always want to come back into your life whether it’s been 6 months or 6 years. From my experience people tend to come back when they’re bored, looking for attention or curious and that’s what I don’t have time for. ‘I miss you’, ‘Hey, how have you been?’, ‘long time, no speak’. Is this truly necessary? If someone doesn’t want you in their life, take the hint and either give them space and they’ll come back to you or just cut ties completely.
I’m a good friend, partner, person, which is why I tend to give people too many chances. From now onwards everyone gets 1 chance. I’m too grown for the stress, aggro and time wasters. This is why I’ve been doing a lot on my own recently; I genuinely enjoy my own company and it’s refreshing at times. Truth be told, I’d rather be alone than surrounded by nonsense. Luckily, I have a close group of friends and family and that’s enough for me.
People seem to take my kindness for advantage and in the world, we live in today that kindness gets taken for granted. Recently with better mental health, I’ve been able to see clearer and see people in a different light. Due to this, I’m having a life clear up.
If you’ve got bad eggs in your life I advise you let them go. Friends, partners, anyone. If they are no good and use your good spirit for evil, show them the exit. If you are the type of person that likes to unnecessarily creep back into people’s lives, the best thing you could do is remove the temptation and delete/block all communication.
I don’t remember when exactly I invented ‘Single Summers’ but I love it. I really do get excited over it.
It came about during a time when I realised all my friends and I were single at the same time. One friend was really down and out about being single and me using my charm and banter as always to be supportive thought, you know what, let’s go out and do what we want to do this summer. Whether its trying different beer gardens, going for brunch every weekend or travelling to somewhere new. I love spending time with my friends especially when the sun is out and this made summer worth looking forward to. Single summers isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s not about being a hoe, chasing guys or trying to get attention; its the complete opposite. It’s about making the most out of being single before we are older and have families or other responsibilities. It’s about taking care of number 1 and not being the singles who sit around feeling sorry for themselves.
I’d be happy if one of my friends said they were seeing someone or had a girlfriend/boyfriend but for now this is something for all to look forward to and use to make memories together.
We must make the most of the time we have on this earth before it’s too late. Furthermore, we must make the most out of English summertime before it’s too late!
I’ll be sure to share what I get up to this summer on Instagram (Solobutterflyy). If any of you feel sad or pressured about being single, don’t let this hold you back. Go out there and live life!
Last time I posted I was 24 and now I’m here as a 25-year-old! I use birthdays more as a way to spend time with friends than to celebrate my actual birthday, however, this year I decided to go all out and have a party (as I’ve never had one and thought why not), go for dinner and basically spend the month doing what I want. 2019 is already a big year for me. Not because I turned 25 but because career and health wise I have accomplished so much and had much more developing to do. I’ve never cared so much about age but I asked myself would hitting the big 25 affect me?
Do I feel any different? Well, I feel and hear the biological clock ticking but I did too when I was 24. Now, I’m just more accepting of ‘what will be will be’ however, that’s due to maturity and being a realistic person. I don’t feel old or young, I’m just out here living.
Am I where I want to be in life? Well as I said in a previous post if you asked me years ago where I’d be now, I would have told you with child, with a partner and probably working in an office. My life is the complete opposite to that and I am honestly grateful for it. I’m 100% not ready for a child, especially with how excited I am to drink and travel this summer. I’m single but happy single; too busy to feel sorry for myself and job wise, I’m feeling better than ever. I finally found a job I love, I don’t even have an office and I’m constantly upskilling myself and gaining qualifications. Career and academically I have exceeded my own expectations. So overall am I where I want to be in life? well, my health and happiness have much improved over the years and that’s all I could ask for. Again, as I said in a previous post I have stopped planning my life, so I am not focused on relationships, kids, needing a mortgage right now…everything will come into place.
This leads nicely onto me asking myself what my goals are by the time I’m 30. Well, I’m no longer planning my future but I do tend to build on my happiness and do what makes me, me. When I’ve saved enough, I will get on the property ladder. If I see someone I like, I will shoot my shot. If I need a breakaway, I will go away or travel to the UK. Sometimes the unknown is an adventurous feeling and leaves some excitement in life.
How different was life for you when you hit 25?