Don’t be on your phone all day

You miss the world when you’re constantly on your phone. Yes, you can catch up with daily events on news websites, social media etc but it isn’t the same as putting the phone down and having real experiences.

People seem to live on their phones nowadays. I’ve watched people be so consumed by their phones, they’ve walked into lamp posts, other people or nearly killed themselves crossing the road. How sad.

Before phones, if you wanted to see someone you had to either arrange a meeting from the last time you saw them or go to their house. It’s nice now being able to send a message or make a quick call but we are now fixated on our phones that we are not paying attention to what is happening around us. Even now, we sit down to chill with our friends and we’re on our phones.

This is probably why we are so ‘sensitive’ now as we want the appraisal of people we don’t know by updating pictures, commenting on people we don’t know, expecting the know celebrities lives better than we know our own neighbours.

Sometimes, especially when I get home from work I don’t want to be on my phone. I’ll put it on my bedside table and it would stay there all evening. To be away from the phone and have time to relax, read a book, listen to music, go to the gym, go on a walk, spend time with family are just a few things I like to do after work that we take for granted. We need to spend time detoxing instead of checking what’s new on Snapchat and Instagram.
Start getting back into the habit of living and try putting your phone on silent a few times a week as a cleanse.

Exotic is not a compliment

My friends and I all have different taste. Not one of my friends would describe their dream guy the same as the other; we all see this is a good thing, however, due to this we come across guys of different races, cultures, experiences, walks of life. We all meet people in different ways but in a recent discussion, I’ve realised some guys make comments that just aren’t okay and it’s not just me that thinks this. Turns out we’ve all had ‘compliments’ that are really ignorant.

Being called exotic isn’t a compliment. I’m no pineapple or guava.

Due to this discussion I’ve put together a list of all the disastrous comments we’ve gathered over the years:

  • “you’re pretty for a black girl”. Seriously, what is that meant to mean? And what made you think I’d take that as a compliment?
  • “You’re nice but I only date Indian girls. Mum wouldn’t like you”
  • “So was you born here? What about your parents?”. If it was a general conversation this is okay but it is usually questioned in finding out whether we have an accent or/and a passport which is a no-no
  • “Do you have a Jamaican accent?”
  • *Love-struck emoji* “I love reggae”. Okay, because as a black people I must love reggae too? (I do, but that’s not the point)
  • “Do you smoke weed?” Because apparently, that’s all we do?
  • “Always like black girls but never had one”. Who said you’ve got me? Want to catch something? Play Pokemon
  • “You’re so tropical” *love-struck emoji* I’m from outside the UK calm down
  • “I can handle you”
  • “Black girls are always angry, chill”. The black woman probably said nothing to deserve this comment but the stereotype of anger seems to pop up every now and then
  • “I bet you know how to cook. Do you make jerk chicken?”
  • “So do you know your dad?” what ignorance is this?
  • “Why are you not wearing a bindi?” again ignorance in thinking all Asian women wear bindis

And that’s just to mention a few. I feel like I just wrote a ‘how to date a black or Asian woman’ post but people need to know this because the world is full of ignorance. Guys if you’re interested in dating a black or Asian woman, stop saying the above, you won’t get far and we are not a fetish.

Who cares what people say?

The world is filled with many opinions, but the only opinion that matters in life is your own.

Daily on social media, I constantly see people shaming each other and talking about people they know nothing about. We all at times find ourselves voicing our opinions on something we see online but shaming someone or in some cases trolling is beyond unnecessary and too extreme. It’s scary to think that one rude comment can get 1000 likes whereas on the other end we have no idea how the person is taking that comment; their feelings are rarely taken into account. I’ve always had tough skin but I can’t say the same thing for other people. We all take criticism in different ways and not everyone can brush off comments. We all feel and think differently.

The main thing to remember is that no one knows the real you and no one knows you better than yourself. In terms of the negativity that people throw your way, it’s best to take everything with a pinch of salt. Nowadays it seems like everything we do is being watched and needs acknowledging. I personally post on Instagram and look at stories but I rarely scroll through other’s profiles because I don’t want to feel like I am not good enough or the need to change or as if my way of life isn’t good enough. That’s my method of keeping online negativity out of my life.

Whether its fashion, influencers or anything in the limelight, I don’t read too much into it. Social media sales lies and dreams. People want to be like the Instagram models and celebrities they see but we have no idea what is happening behind the scenes. To be successful or happy in life you don’t need to have the most desirable clothing or change who you are to seem cool to others. Just do you. I have my own style and my own way of life that works for me and it also shows my personality. I don’t need to know what people say or think about me because I’m not going to change me for anyone else. I actually like me. People who sit on a laptop or phone belittling and trolling likely to have their own insecurities. Shut down other peoples voices and start listening to your own.

Why you should leave me alone

Recently I’ve been triggered and the old cold-hearted me is waiting to make an epic return. Over the past few years, I’ve been calm, composed and said yes or ok at times when really it isn’t ok. It’s now getting to the point I think I have ‘mug’ written across my forehead.

People have really forgotten I am a Queen.

The past few months have consisted of people calling, messaging, liking posts to get my attention and I’m really not here for it. If I don’t reply to you within a day, take your L’s and leave me alone, and in best case scenario…delete my number.

I’m done. I need new eggs.

People always want to come back into your life whether it’s been 6 months or 6 years. From my experience people tend to come back when they’re bored, looking for attention or curious and that’s what I don’t have time for. ‘I miss you’, ‘Hey, how have you been?’, ‘long time, no speak’. Is this truly necessary? If someone doesn’t want you in their life, take the hint and either give them space and they’ll come back to you or just cut ties completely.


I’m a good friend, partner, person, which is why I tend to give people too many chances. From now onwards everyone gets 1 chance. I’m too grown for the stress, aggro and time wasters. This is why I’ve been doing a lot on my own recently; I genuinely enjoy my own company and it’s refreshing at times. Truth be told, I’d rather be alone than surrounded by nonsense. Luckily, I have a close group of friends and family and that’s enough for me.
People seem to take my kindness for advantage and in the world, we live in today that kindness gets taken for granted. Recently with better mental health, I’ve been able to see clearer and see people in a different light. Due to this, I’m having a life clear up.


If you’ve got bad eggs in your life I advise you let them go. Friends, partners, anyone. If they are no good and use your good spirit for evil, show them the exit. If you are the type of person that likes to unnecessarily creep back into people’s lives, the best thing you could do is remove the temptation and delete/block all communication.