Being impulsive has got me far in life and so far so good. My personality is pretty spontaneous and if anyone has been on my Instagram, you’ll see my posts are very random. My spontaneousness shows in all aspects of my life. It had led me to travel alone, handing in my notice from a vile job (with no job to go into), arranging cute dramatic dates with my friends, making new memories. Not only would life be dull without this personality trait but I would have never had some of the opportunities I’ve had without out it.
I’ve always wanted to blog but never had the time to. After leaving my job last year I had nothing to go into. I had back up money, faith in my decision and didn’t want to be treated a certain way so I left without warning. I deserved a break anyways but I didn’t take a break. I got into volunteer work, found part-time work, started coaching and mentoring and made a website for my blog at last. It was a long time coming but I needed a moment to think and take a leap of faith. Yes, I am now in full-time work but beforehand I would have never believed I could have done this. It took an act of impulse to sit down on a day off whilst part-time and put together what I have now. That’s one out of many experiences I could share but the point is being impulsive has paid off. Sometimes impulsive behaviour rubs off on others for the better and provides a lift of confidence.
Being impulsive can be risky but it is riskier on health to do nothing at all but think ‘what if’. Never let your mind hold you back otherwise you’ll never move forward.
A year ago I went on an ancestry website to learn more about myself. I am lucky enough to have grown up my grandparents (on both sides) and hear all their stories but, I’ve always been interested in going as far back in time out of pure curiosity and to share our history with future generations.
I have always been aware of where I come from and my Bajan Gran has done her job to tell me everything about her childhood, how she came to England and what her parents were like. Also being Bajan she seems to know everything about everyone. My mum too has been great in sharing her memories and knowledge with me. Understanding our culture and history has always been important to my family and something I had to know about from a very young age.
I did my ancestry test back in October 2018 and to this day, the results still have me in awe. Doing the test is considered expensive to some but if you think about how they get the results, it’s really worth the cost. In March 2019 the technology updated meaning my results are considered more accurate as shown below. It’s extraordinary to see that I’m not just from Barbados and Jamaica (with an Indian twist) as I’ve grown up to know. Black people all know or should know history enough to know we originate from Africa, but I never imagined the results saying Benin, Congo and Cameroon. The 1% European Jewish and Germanic Europe still throws me as I wasn’t expecting that but it’s still an amazing find. My mum always swore we had Spanish blood…when I dance others also say this so it was incredible to see there’s actually a link.
My friend has also recently done a test and would now like to be known as ‘African Queen’ due to her very surprising results. Whether it’s you or your friend finding out about past generations it is beyond exciting and interesting and I believe we should all find out where we are from; whether it’s doing a DNA test or speaking to your grandparents about history. I can now go forward knowing if I ever have children or if my nephew asks I can give as much information as possible and say more than just “I’m Jamaican and Bajan”.
It is important for us to understand our own beauty within and our own health needs and wants in order to booth body confidence. Body confidence comes from more than what we look like; it’s how we feel and how we carry ourselves.
Weight loss/gain, relationships/friendships, work, virtually anything will lead to us losing our body confidence. It doesn’t help to live in a world with Twitter, Instagram and everyone’s opinion on the internet telling us what we should look like and how we should be living. Black girls are told to hide their natural hair, men are made to hide their feelings; these opinions and elements chip away at our confidence. We don’t want to be seen as vulnerable or make people feel awkward but there’s nothing wrong with rocking an Afro or a man crying. The moment you stop caring about what other people think and begin doing you, you gain part of yourself back. When you suffer from anxiety, depression or any type of mental illness it takes your confidence, whether it takes 9% or 90%. Some people (like I did) stop being social, stop going to the gym; some start comparing themselves to Instagram models, celebrities and what their friends are doing. Others begin to change their attitude, the way they dress or the stop wearing make-up. This is okay because these are tangible elements of us we can always get back.
When I lost my body confidence, I also lost all motivation. In order to gain it back, I had to think more in-depth about the point in which I stopped exercising and became anti-social. Once I touched on the problem, I was able to work out a solution. As a solution I would write down all the things I wanted to do. Whether it’s to try a new look or to get out of the house more and set myself a deadline to do this. If you do this note down how you’re going to do it, who with and what could be considered a barrier and why. Most importantly, try and stick to the plan. Tell a friend or family member so they can support you and give you a little push that is sometimes need.
Other ways to boost confidence is knowing your worth and loving yourself. To do this, you need to take care of your well-being. As mentioned in my first post ‘Anxiety’ fitness & travel have health benefits in terms of changing moods, behaviours and strengthening the mind. Fitness is a big influence. A few months after working out you may feel like a new person. Changing to a healthier lifestyle, again will change your mindset and make you feel like a new person.
Say it into existence. I will go out today. I will dress nicely. I will attend that birthday dinner on Saturday I was going to flake out of. Take a chance in life.